Friday

Mental Resilience - What Does It Take?

Mental resilience is the ability, capacity and will to recover to normalcy after a crisis. Everybody will experience crisis and setback in life. If one cannot bounce back from something bad, one can be trapped in a cycle of depression, self-doubt and disappointments. So it is important to have mental resilience. Mental resilience must also be complemented by a measure of physical resilience. It helps to be fit and healthy but mental toughness and resilience is the key.
Especially when we age, we will experience immeasurable grief - the loss of loved ones, inability to have a child, loss of direction in life, regrets and disappointment in lack of achievements. Some people can be so troubled by life's problems that they become depressed.
If we think about it, such misery is self-imposed. Another person in the same situation may react differently. So we have a choice. We can trap ourselves in constant gloom or we can accept what we cannot change and move on. Focus on the positive rather than the negative.
The Secret of Happiness


I used to tell anybody who would listen, that the secret of life is everybody is unhappy because everybody thinks that everybody else is having a better life.
So what is the secret of happiness. To me, it is to be in a constant state of satisfaction. Think about it, what makes you elate? Getting your first bicycle? Getting good result in your lest favourite school subject? By now, you would realise that both material gain and self improvement only provide short-lived joy. Well, the secret of happiness is to constantly pursue that source of short-lived happiness.
I want to focus on self-improvement rather than material gain. Frankly, it is easier to do. Material gain also desensitize us. After a while, we need more and more to achieve any level of satisfaction. You will be on top of the world if you are a child and you earn your first $10 working hard to clean somebody's yard. Fast forward years later in your life, would you be equally happy if you earn $10 for an hour's work as an adult?
Self-improvement on the other hand, can be as simple as reading a book, learning to bake or just climbing a hill. You challenge yourself and push the boundaries.
It should not be a self-absorbed pursuit. We also attain happiness by being useful to society and others. So helping other people, especially those in need, is essential for the pursuit of happiness. Ultimately, it is about making sense and finding meaning in what we so in this life.
So happiness is not reaching a destination of permanent bliss. It is the journey itself and how you live that journey. There will be setback. Mental resilience is recognising that it is a temporary setback and moving on with what needs to be done.